Every year on my birthday or soon after, if I'm having ridiculous amounts of fun on the day. I find a moment for some deep reflection.
A review of the previous year.
Inevitably past hurts and dramas, things that happened way back, always raise their heads. Sometimes I hear myself say, 'bloody hell where did that come from, I thought I'd sent you packing years ago'
Historically when this happened, anything that didn't fit into 'the previous year' pile, I would brush under the carpet with a, 'I'll deal with this later, maybe' attitude.
It was only a couple of years ago that I realised that by not dealing with or, more importantly, learning from these past hurts and dramas, they would dust themselves off and drag themselves out of their hiding place and show up year after year.
These things I tried to forget, happened, me you and everyone else on this planet cannot, as far as I'm aware erase the past, and unless I acknowledged them, learned from them, they would continue to keep coming back.
So, as I embark on this year's reflection, I thought I would share what I do and what I learned.
I take time to connect with nature, whether that is the garden on the beach or in a park, somewhere quiet where I can be at one with my thoughts.
I meditate, do a little yoga to allow my energy to flow, and then sit down and have a full-on conversation with myself. (A great reason to do this alone, somewhere quiet)
I talk about everything that has happened throughout the year, how it made me feel, physically and emotionally, then I look at what I have learned. I ask myself what would've I have done differently, better? What I was proud of and I give myself a big pat on the back or I do a little oh yeah dance.
I read through old journals; it's an excellent way to acknowledge not only how far you have come, a great reminder of what you have successfully achieved, but it also highlights if you've got into a habit of doing something that no longer serves you. Or if you haven't learned something blatantly obvious.
Us human beings are great at wasting time trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Some things are just not meant for us.
For any lessons from previous years that decide to show up, give them the time they deserve, the time you need to learn their lesson, hear the message, thank them, release them and let them go.
A great way to deal with the oldies as I like to call them is to write them down on a piece of paper, write the lesson down, then finish it with thank you, I release you. Screw it up into a ball and throw it away. (In a bin preferably)
This year for me had three big lessons; they were to face fears, reconnect spiritually, and do not doubt the Universe.
One of my biggest fears has been that of heights, I've no idea where it began, as a kid I'd climb anything and everything, then one day out of nowhere heights frightened me. It stopped me from doing so much.
That one fear trickled over and created other fears, some small some big.
The lesson I learned last year was to stop using fear as an excuse for really living. I had done this too often.
Yearly, as a family, we visit Florida, and do the usual and visit the theme parks, so many rides I had missed out on because of this belief that I had a fear of heights.
So I inhaled courage and exhaled fear and rode them, every single one of them.
I was incredibly proud.
I realised after it wasn't the height I feared it was the lack of control of a situation.
Yes, we are in control of our lives, our choices, but it's also great, exhilarating even, to live without so much planning - release some control and just do it.
We don't need to know the outcome of everything all the time.
If we always focus on the destination, we miss the journey.
Life is an adventure, enjoy it, experience it, live it.
Doing this a magical thing occurred, I began to reconnect spiritually, my release of control, enabled me to open up to more possibilities and opportunities.
With my eyes, ears, and heart open, the feeling of knowing that the Universe had my back returned.
Doubt packed its bag and went on what I know will be a very long vacation.
You see, it's all connected - we're really not complicated beings, we just like being in balance.
"The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life." – Iyanla Vanzant
Love & light